Politician came to the service and sat in the first pew with a confident
and submissive grin pasted across his face. He sat straight-backed
and cross-legged with his wife attached to the crook of his arm.
His wife wore a lime-green suit and modest skirt and The Politician
wore a black suit with a black shirt and a lime-green tie and beads
of sweat poured off of his brow and across his mouth but still,
still his smile wouldn't budge.
Church Leader stood in front of the congregation dressed like The
Diva at the zenith of Her career and said her good mornings and
read the bulletins and asked The Diva to sing songs for the sick
and the dying and to bring peace to The Universe and to enlighten
all those who had yet to hear The Record.
Church Leader then sat down in a high backed chair on the flower-strewn
altar and closed her eyes solemnly as the First Track of The Record
played from speakers recessed into the cavernous ceilings of the
crowded and humid and still chapel. The Politician and his wife
nodded their heads in familiar reverence and The Politician looked
out of the corner of his eye to make sure the cameras were focused
on him. When The Politician was satisfied that he had the cameras'
undivided attention he then proceeded to shake with emotion as the
First Stanza of the First Track of The Record reached a lyrical
crescendo: Free, Free, Free Your Mind And Your Body, Your Heavenly,
Heavenly Body Will Follow, Follow Your Free, Free Mind.
as the First Track concluded, the Church Leader stood in front of
the congregation and introduced The Politician and The Politician
stood up and acknowledged the polite applause of the thousand-member
Politician walked up to the altar, gave the Church Leader the Deep
Bow of Submission and stood at the podium. He cleared his throat
without removing his smile and tried to look solemn and pensive
and sincere all at once. He told the congregation how important
The First Track was for him, how he started every day before dawn,
listening to the First Track in meditative yoga as the early, early
morning was the only time a Politician had to keep for himself.
"I can't tell you what a comfort those lyrics are," The
Politician said, his face folding and unfolding from anguish and
joy with a smile that never faded and a smile that never wavered.
"Those lyrics help me execute my office every day and anywhere;
it's amazing what one can get done as long as they Free Their
The Politician launched himself into the meat of his speech, an
impassioned plea for re-election, an impassioned plea for a thousand
we, we good citizens of this Free, Free World, and those of us who
are Children of The Diva are so, so fortunate to possess Free
Minds! Our enemies, and you know they are just waiting to strike,
you know they are waiting to destroy the things they fearThe
Record, the love of The Diva, all the things of this Universe that
we hold sacred!" And The Politician grabbed his right wrist
with his left hand and drew both hands towards his heart as he said
"sacred". The Congregation nodded in affirmation and sporadic
applause could be heard echoing off the ceiling of the chapel.
so, my opponent, my parties' opponents, though they claim to listen
to The Record, would lead you to believe that those still on Earth
have no interest in our World, have no interest in our affairs,
yet they still insist on showing us their ugly heads, they still
insist on spreading their faiths to this World and keeping ours
out of theirs. No other world would ever attack us, except for Earth.
So, my fellow siblings, a vote for me would be a vote for a vanquished
Earth, an Earth we can then rebuild, under the wisdom and joy and
beauty of The Record!" The Politician stood in the center of
the altar and gave the congregation the Deep Bow of Submission and
the congregation stood and gave The Politician a chorus of enthusiastic
applause and the rhythmic and slow drum beat of the Ninth Track
of The Record burst from the speakers; the heavy bass lines shook
the stained glass windows and sent seismic quivers through the pews.
Politician then took his place next to his wife and kissed her quickly
and hugged her passionately as the cameras focused on his eyes,
the rivers of sweat looking like hard, hard tears as they flowed
past his eyes.
Church Leader took her place in the center of the altar, surrounded
by her acolytes, who were dressed like The Diva's back-up singers.
The congregation stood and waited to approach the altar, to receive
the service ending Pill, the Pill that would give them the stamina
and desire to dance to The Record, to dance and listen until the