R.I.T.A.

September 2010

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[Paul Hughes]

R.I.T.A.
by DJ Burnham


It had finally happened: an alien invasion. It just wasn't quite what had been expected.


http://www.silverthought.com/burnham07.html

[Faye]

Bravo !! Very entertaining story..This is a must read. Love the political undertones..

                                                                                                  Faye

[PSGifford]

Good sir,your writing never fails to both impress and entertain me.

PSG

[DJ Burnham]

Thanks folks,

You've heard the expression of a place "Being invaded by tourists" it was asking to be played with, and the "CHIMP" is always worth a pop.

TTFN

Dave

[SirLawrence]

Finally finished it today..

Brilliant story! Xyton (love the name).. and with an added touch of wit.  The kind of wit I'd say "Douglas Adams"-ish.  Another great story on the level of Mortal Coil and the Stamp-themed one.   

I'm going to be on the lookout, Mr. Burnham, the next time I'm at the airport and I see President Bush talking on one of the waiting area TVs..

Lawrence

[CowboyLogic]

I can't count the times I have daydreamed about the possibility to throw a blanket over raging humanity and force them to play nicely in the sandbox.

Mr. Burnham,

This story made me grin on so many levels.

I have only one glitch to bring up. "Off World"

It would seem to me Off world is about the ramifications of a world when this story is seemingly far greater in scope than this or any one planet. The Acronym R.I.T.A. seems at odds with "Off World".













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[DJ Burnham]

Yep, I see what you mean. In context it's meant to mean "...the off-world leisure industry" in the sense of being off-world from the viewpoint of the potential tourist, rather than just off-world from the sense of Earth.

How might you express that to make more sense to the reader? As you've flagged it, it could help me to improve the intended meaning if you've got any suggestions.

Many thanks

Dave

[CowboyLogic]

In today's travel industry, intercontinental is the standard, of course in your concept the equivalent "Intergalactic" has been used until it's thread bare, but a synonym of that may be a better way to go and of course to coin your own phrase here just as in "Off World" would be the cat's ass.

- Intergalactic
- Intersteller

both over used.

 Perhaps just loose the "Inter"

- Galactic vacations
- stellar vacations
- cross cosmos

Feel free to turn down all of these suggestions but stepping down this path may pop up the perfect description.

[DJ Burnham]

Thanks for that Roger, it set me thinking and I've gone for "transgalactic leisure industry" for a while to see it feels right.

Have a good weekend mate,

TTFN

Dave

[CowboyLogic]

Transgalactic has a certain flair. I like how it rolls.

[JohnBirge]

Even though I’m ridiculously overdue, I’ll throw my two pence into the mix.

I’ve read all of DJ Burnham’s stories here on Silverthought and though I’ve enjoyed them all, I have to admit that this piece is my absolute favourite – it kindles an envious flame behind my ocular cauldrons. Tightly composed, with just the right amount of humour, plus an expertly executed ‘twist’.

DJ Burnham, we who are about to write salute you!

[DJ Burnham]

Thanks so much John, I've been slightly out of the loop myself for a bit and your kind words were a huge boost.

Cheers mate,

All best,

Dave

[Darkininc]

Any reports of anti-tourist behaviour, from species-specific racism to sabotage, will be dealt with in a zero-tolerance manner.

Species-specific racism 

Its a well crafted story dealing with a situation where resistance is futile.  I liked the way Xyton and his legions were patronising, not so much military as business like.